Have you ever thought that you will become confident and fearless when you achieve something particular? And yet when you actually do reach the goal, the feeling of confidence visits for only a second or two but then vanishes away. We have always been there. That’s why we are going to discover 3 steps to become confident which can actually change your life.

Step 1: Become confident by noticing what the confidence you already have

First of all, to become confident you need to change your perception of yourself. When you find yourself incompatible in any area, it can affect how you perceive yourself. This right attitude helps you boldly move towards your goal. Keep in mind that no one feels 100 % confident in every area of life. We can be confident in one area and shy in another. This is fine!

You are more than the area you are struggling with. Start perceiving yourself as a whole. Reminding this to yourself will bring a huge relief.

Let’s say you are a great cook but a shy speaker. People adore your food and give you the greatest feedback. Meanwhile, you might think to yourself that you are boring as a speaker, because people look at their phones when you speak. Now you might be curious, what being a great cook has to do with being socially awkward. Well, think for a minute: they both imply your potential of being confident. The only difference is that you have assigned a great meaning to the positive experience with cooking and a negative one to your communication skills because of interpreting someone else’s behavior as an evaluation for yourself.

Step 2: Become a confident person by changing your thoughts towards the subject

Changing your thoughts on a subject you don’t think you are confident enough about is a hard step but it’s a game changer. So, do that! Positive thoughts and statements about yourself can totally boost your confidence, but they may not always feel genuine when it comes to something we have been struggling with. The only thing we need to do here is questioning our fears leading us to the lack of confidence. Use these questions to change your intrusive thoughts into better ones:

  • What is my exact negative thought in one sentence?
  • Is my negative thought a fact or a belief?
  • What is the evidence that my negative thought is not true?
  • What would I tell my best friend if they had this thought?
  • What more helpful thought am I deciding to think?

Step 3:Become a confident person by searching for small successes

From now on, let’s notice your small successes, because without small ones there would be no big successes. To be able to do this, you need to track and rely on your small successes at work, which requires a higher level of confidence from you. By doing this, you will create a positive experience for yourself and a new neural pathway for your brain. As a result, your brain will literally tell you: «we had a positive experience with this». This will allow you to effortlessly become more and more self-confident.

Friendly conversation
Friendly conversation

In other words, you need to unplug your mind from anything negative contradicting your ultimate goal and focus exclusively on your small successes. If communication is what you’re struggling with, a great way to record a little bit of success is to start interpreting things the way it works for you. Don’t worry about people thinking you’re clumsy the first time they meet. Instead, convince yourself that they will definitely like you. If one out of ten people laughed at your joke, focus on that small win. TRACK YOUR SUCCESS!

By the way the word confident stands for being sure or certain of something or someone, in our case – of ourselves. So, how reasonable is it for us to bound our inner certainty and self-image to external factors, such as goals or other people’s behaviors? I’m pretty sure I know your answer, that’s why let’s follow logic and 3 steps above to become confident in anything you want.

Do you want to learn more about building your confidence and charisma? Join this free webinar led by Diana Robertson, an award-winning speaker and founder of Skillsme, a soft skills academy, to find out how.